| angelina is a whore. i hate sharing a birthday with her! |
[19 Apr 2009|05:44pm] |
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angelina jolie is a homewrecking shore whore. let's start out there....a lot of shit has been going on in my life and will most likely continue to go on...go figure. i guess that's why they call it senior year. right now i have just been like hanging out with my boyfriend a lot and partying. actually not really partying...just falling asleep. sometimes all i really want to do is to take a nice bbath in a hottub filled with lavendar. im super sortof irritated about certain people right now who think i like a lot of attenion...ugh...
okay also i got a new tattoo a while recently with laura and daltonio. sort of miss him and his cat
am pissed off at laura's boyfriend because he threatened to call the cops on me
now have met my roommate...well talked to her online
am super depressed about my job and my ecc2 class...thinking about getting a second job if i dont get full time hours. and to top it off everyone at work keeps asking me how i feel about being bumped out of my beloved tikes class. how do i feel after putting so much effort and time into these kids that i love and then getting bumped out for some completely new employee...yeah i feel sort of a lot of shitty :( i just hope they are doing it so i can get fulltime hours. but i doubt it in a way....
i have that monthly feeling that i am getting fat
why does my boyfriend insist on grabbing my tits while his parents are in the room....weirdo...
anyawys. this is a really pointless entry but i like to keep myself updated about important events in my life...also am obsessed with the show supernatural...
and did i mention that angelina "double d" as my boyfriend says i a WHORE ON THE SHORE!!!!fealjreaolsdfasdfhjAERj
also who else is excited about green day's new album coming out...it is like the only thing keeping me going...
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| come on eileen |
[02 Feb 2009|11:50am] |
had a very nice romantic evening with ian on saturday--cat and drizz came over and took hours setting everything up
ian was very good at being sweet--totally LOVEd tristan and isolde because tristan's life sucks so bad brought wine really liked my lingerie was actually really impressed by all my early childhood portfolios--i still blush at this :)
anyways on to other things: am a bit upset about the unprofessional nature at work, but had a teriffic friday the kind that make you remember why you do your job in the first place--we played train ride on the carpet and i made a bear cave...sometimes i just have to trust my imagination i think. ya kno?
okay other than that happy birthday zoe--love you toooo much and also bad thing that happened today was that as dad and i were arguing and leaving the hickman parking lot, guess who swerved in front of my dad (who was also driving poorly) and who my dad really obviously gave an angry honk to---dalton....awkward...i wanted to turn magenta and cut the parts of dna relating my dad to me out of my system
i am sooo excited about the valentines dance i am helping plan for saturday and aobut valentines day babysitting too...ian says he will take me out on a date later :)
prom dress is being dry cleaned as we speak...
hopefully will be not pregnant in 2 days--pills work your magic!
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| phone calls and cherry bombs |
[07 Jan 2009|12:14pm] |
I guess something that has always been crucial in understanding my fickle heart, of everyone’s hearts really is knowing the scars that helped to shape and strengthen it. It’s never really been easy for me to seal my wounds. I’ve always been a bit of scab-picker I guess you could say, for better or for worse.
I remember being younger lamenting my first break-up, thinking would I ever be loved again. This was not the case for I WAS loved, just not for too long by one person. I am truly blessed with all my many weird and wacky experiences, am grateful for the opportunity to learn how to cry, am lucky for the confidence of knowing you can recover from having a heart skip a beat so often.
This summer I began to start cutting my own path a little, losing a little blind faith in my emotions. I remember someone telling me that I was losing my innocence a little, my adorability. I guess I don't really feel like that. This new year in particular I feel like I gained a little elegance, a little beauty.
I've always sort of measured my life through loves and friends. And this new year was no exception. My best friend and her boyfriend had just broken-up and she was spending the holiday away in the arms of some other man. My other friend and I had just started to lock lips a month ago, a new twist to our relationship, that apparently everyone had seem coming years before we could. This new years was different then ever before, unpredictable, and yet it all sort of fit together.
I pictured all the other new years eves I had spent with other friends, with other boys. There was the year where I had cried because my boyfriend didn't call me at midnight, the one where Laura stealthy dodged the affections of her own new year's beau. There was the one where I had introduced another long-time boyfriend to my family. It was a stretch to get him to look "acceptable" through his mirage of dirty jokes and unkempt "caveman hair", but the experience was funny nonetheless. There were the new years eves where I would wish that someone loved me, wished I had someone to kiss at midnight. Just as I am sure my Laura's ex was feeling now, just as I hoped I would never feel again.
But the odd thing is we DO feel it again, we all do. Everyone has nights with champagne for celebration, and others with vodka for consolation. We all go through this cycle. And the weird and miraculous thing about cycles is that they repeat, over and over again. I pictured my old make-out buddy, wondering if he ever wrote back to that old girlfriend of his in that picture--the one he's always kept safe in that bottom drawer. I wondered what he would have been like had we been lovers, as opposed to "fuckers." But then again perhaps he was just trying to get laid at some frat party, drunkenly propositioning anal sex to older slutty girls--typical frat friend behavior I said to myself.
And then there were all the boys that I HAD loved. All of them from years past were now holding someone else's hand would think of someone else as the ball dropped in Times Square. Another girl would meet their parents for the holiday season. Another girl would take my place.
It's weird to me, but I think this year I realized that that was okay. that that was all oddly beautiful somehow. Sometimes knots get tangled and there are kinks in the cycle, but we move on. We let go of one hand, and find another to cling to. We cry and dry our tears only to have them refreshed anew. This is the way we live. This is the way we let others love and maybe let a little more love into our own hearts as well.
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| papers and such |
[08 Dec 2008|11:01pm] |
My uncle’s last wish for me was that I have the money to go to college to pursue my dreams, even if he couldn’t be there to share them with me. Even as a grown man dying of AIDs, he was thinking about the future of someone he could never hope to see grow into adulthood. That was 18 years ago, but his message has always been in the back of my mind. From the time I was little, my mother always told me about how proud my Uncle Morgan would be of all the wonderful steps I have taken to see this wish come true, and of all the potential he saw in me as a baby girl. Before he died, my Uncle Morgan helped to ensure that his vision for my future would be a reality by willing me a large portion of his life’s savings, only to be used for one thing and one thing only—my continuing education in college. However, in today’s economic times, I know that this money alone is not enough. A scholarship would mean much more than a sum of money; it would be a completion to a very special dream.
I wrote that to get a scholarship and I just really feel like I needed to say it elsewhere or something. I love him so much and iI am so happy I am going to college now! eeks
okay second item is something I really have been chewing on for weeks. When I went to Project Construct workshops earlier we spent a lot of time discussing how to respect and encourage autonomy in a child (doing the right thing just because it is right) and this study just really affected me more towards that direction.
In the fall of 1961, Stanley Milgram, a young assistant professor of psychology, began one of today’s most engaging, controversial, and horrifying studies on human beings and our willingness to obey authority. At that time, there was much interest in how the SS officers and much of the German population could abuse, torture, and even murder millions of fellow human beings during the Holocaust. Over and over again, those prosecuted in the Nuremburg trials said the same thing, “It wasn’t my fault. They MADE me do it.” Was this all because of the way the German people were raised, their personalities, their culture, or was there something more universal at play, something that could be recreated in a more modern society, half-way across the globe? Milgram wanted to find out, and what he did find out shocked even him. In order to set-up his obedience experiment, Milgram had to set up a false objective for his participants, so as to catch them unaware. The participants, at first male Yale students, then later healthy males from all backgrounds and social classes, were each told that they were to do a study on punishment and learning. The participant was to be the teacher, and a hired actor would be the learner; and the method of teaching?—electric shock. The participant or teacher was told to read aloud word pairs that the learner would restate back to him. If the learner was correct, the teacher would move on to the next word pair, but if incorrect, the learner would be shocked with a stronger and stronger dose of electricity, all the way up to the danger zone of 450 volts—a lethal dose. The learner and teacher were each separated and as the teacher read off word combinations the actor or learner began to make mistakes, and then fake agony as the voltage increased. As the experiment went on, the subjects began to sweat, squirm, and even laugh out of anxiety as they began to feel more and more at odds with their moral selves. At one point the actor even screamed that he had a heart condition and said “Let me out!” However, despite these obvious indications of pain and suffering, sixty-five percent of Milgram’s subjects continued in the experiment up to the last switch, given only a simple prompt from the experimenter. Sixty-five percent of those studied were obedient up to the point of killing someone, even though it caused many of them obvious psychological, mental, and physical discomfort, and violated their moral sense of right and wrong. Since I first read this study, it has continued to haunt me every day. I constantly find myself wondering just how I can foster a sense of independence in myself as well as in the children I work with everyday. Oftentimes, I hear a teacher tell a child to do things, “because I am your teacher.” Yet, although this kind of dialogue can help to bring a temporary sense of stability to a classroom, in the long-run it can cause detrimental problems. If we always teach children to listen to “authority”, what will happen in the long-run when those authority figures start saying the wrong things? Authority figures hold only as much power and influence as we give to them, and this power should not be given lightly. Although Milgram’s study and its follow-ups never showed any concrete factors to distinguish those that defied authority and those that did not, I would like to think that with further education and encouragement towards an individual lifestyle, this could change. I was especially touched by the story of the closeted homosexual man who obeyed in the study originally, but later changed his life as a result, and went on to come out and lead a truly defiant life.
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[08 Dec 2008|10:55pm] |
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i like ian and ian likes me and i have hickies and i am dropping out of apcalc and i got accepted into mu and i am hot sex.etc. also i spent way too much money on everyone's gifts. yaya
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[22 Nov 2008|12:30pm] |
hah. so ian and i are offically going out and i love life once more. on thursday i went to the comedy club wiht my cowokers--yes i have work friends now!!! i love the vu because even if you have x's on your hands they still get you hellas trashed. also amy and megan straightened my hair--eeek!!! afterwards i remember talking to larua trashed about how ian was fuzzy like a polysynthetic sweater...hmmm...well im sure that is awesome.
okay well i got to go soon maybe. right now i am at ians appartment and his brother is shaving his head or soemthing much like a sheep...baaah
poetry slam tonight let's see how that goes!!! 6-8 yall
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[17 Nov 2008|11:53am] |
entry in fact form: friday night at jessica's show guys and dolls--amazing walker being drugged up and selling me stuff--out of character being in the car with a high bree--frightening night at brad's appartment--pathetically enjoyable embarassment morning at paneras--tomatoey with a hint of dan and andrea being there also morning sleeping in--delightful babysitting jack--soothing, feel confident in rocking to sleep powers! partying at ians--exciting, nerve-racking and confusing maybe/maybe not going out with ian currently--relieving but again confusing... currently hoping that for once i am semi dating someone who actually will give a shit about me and won't ignore me or be psycho. he is very sweet and will actually BE there for me--he has for the last four years...also that is the amount of time i kind of erm...liked him...weird i know. alas, this is still not official...somewhere between the spending the night with him and kissing him and calling him...there wasn't really a "hey are we going out yet?"
why oh why does it always take a few days for that to happen. that is so super gay. gay like stephen's face and dalton's picture of him looking too tan and horny.
also on election day i voted with dan! and had coffee with sarina and ally--i miss them a lot and it made me sooo happy.
icon was last weekend--suddenly have lost faith in other uu's getting along with me. feel like our congregation is very special indeed--despite all the drama and drunkenness. we are a family like no other. i will miss everyone very much once this all goes away...
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| forrealz my vagina |
[06 Nov 2008|12:12am] |
[23:57] cuteandpunky: SUPER GAY [23:57] cuteandpunky: i dont see why he would think that :( [23:58] cuteandpunky: just cuz he has soft hands doesnt mean i listen to him [23:58] cuteandpunky: i mostly just stare at him and recently notice the gayness in his face [23:58] cuteandpunky: but ian knows i listen to him and all my bros above all else [23:58] cuteandpunky: except of course you [23:58] cuteandpunky: and my hoes [23:58] cuteandpunky: and my vagina [23:59] damagectrl64: haha [23:59] cuteandpunky: im just being forrealz
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| the pain...the suffering...the green day drawback. |
[07 Oct 2008|12:19am] |
aaah. i am having a case of severe green day deficiency. the foxboro hottubs are not tying me over an i keep having reoccurring dreams involving them, such as the one where they were at the roots, blues, and bbq festival...and no one told me. though someone did get me a t-shirt...still um not the same. i was devastated as you can guess...plus there was a lot of other shit mixed in, such as the fact that my ex bf lived in my house but we never talked cuz we were always pissed at each other and he just hogged the computer all day...anyways the main point is i am seriously thinking i would give my kidney to see them play again...no, but i would drop a lot of dough. soooo. if green day ever come to missouri and you don't tell me i will basically die inside and my soul will be meaningless... but i did hear they have a new album out in 09 which makes me soo nervous...that i want to pee...not really. acutally since i have been sick and pukey have not been really peeing much at all...tmi. yes. in the mean time other bands you guys should check out and probably already know abou and which really sound nothing like green dayt: the wannadies the veils the matches (who are coming to st.louis on sunday) Copeland ( because they have a new album out on the fourteenth) buddy holly (as he already reminds of Cowboy guy...mmmm cowboy guy)
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| Expertly Us (also on facebook() |
[28 Sep 2008|07:28pm] |
This poem is dedicated to you: my expert amigos, my compadres,mes amies, my friends
The kind of friends that have mastered the delicate art of mating (well not quite) but you know how to give sound, quality advice: If he likes me, he's adorable When he dumps me, he's an asshole (unless in the case of stalkers-- they are always the latter)
You pick up my three am phone calls always just to hear me bitch about how I am not, in fact, "a bitch" always
You are expert therapists highly trained in: Group Shopping Break-up Facials and of course "Girl Time"
You are also highly fashionable You instinctively know that my dress is cuter than "that other girl's" (even though you have not in fact seen girl in question)
You are expert drivers You know that yellow means "go faster" that it is always acceptable to stop for Taco Bell and that 99 Red Balloons must be blaring at all times for maximum rockability
You are ingenious and highly trained chefs i.e: Cooking Mama drunken quesadillas drunken instant pasta sober pasta (far less delicious and had paste like consistency) also out-of-jar-peanut-butter and out-of-fridge-ice-cream (high in calcium)
You are talented dancers: Skinamarinky Dink in Ian's kitchen Dance Dance Revolution (even though I always lose) car dancing to the Click 5 fake grinding at Homecoming authentic square-dancing also at Homecoming (begrudgingly on your parts)
You are the kind of friends that pee with me anytime, anywhere especially when drunk especially when camping especially in Walgreens surreptitiously in the back stall
You know that I rub my nose when I am excited fall in "like" at least three times a week and out of "like" at least four that I'll never really grow up but am obsessed with maturity that I love pickled ginger and hate Oreos that I am horridly loud and awfully shy
but mostly you know that a friendship like ours requires no talent or plans or playbooks
It is unexplainable and undeniably madly, deeply and really, truly: us
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| the shittiest day ever |
[09 Sep 2008|12:19pm] |
i feel drugged i want to cry always last night was one of the shittiest nights of my life ian and dalton both confronted me about how fucked up they think my life is going right now. apparently my excessive partying and "habitually" smoking pot will lead me on a downward spiral like katie and madie, according to ian. and dalton and him are both concerned at my treating "sex like a joke" as ian put it. i just really don't fucking get where they get the right to judge my life or even how they found out about it.
it's really hypocritical ian telling me i party and do drugs too much, when we both know he does this too.
it is really retarded for dalton to tell me that i will be unhappy fooling around when he used to brag about his "random play."
i am not the only person who has wanted to experiment and fuck up. i am going through a lot of tough shit and i really can't explain or justify who i am right now. i just kind of want to let go and have fun. i am so sick of pouring my heart into commitments and driving myself crazy depressed because i care too much about people i am involved with. i already have had sex with two people, one of whom, im sure did NOT love me. i am already tainted goods. i feel like i need to let go and be told i am fun and pretty. it's selfish, but who have i got to care about anyways?
the answer of course is ian and dalton and apparently everyone else who has been disappointed in me lately and it makes me feel like shit.
anyways. to make said shit worse my grandma died at three am this morning and i havnen't really been able to think straight since. i feel like my eyes are murky and about to melt over. nothing makes sense or really matters that much and i have so many questions that shouldn't turn out sad answers but always seem to.
i've always had this burning question of what her heaven is like and it makes me cry everytime... i wonder who she gets to spend the rest of her life with in heaven, her first husband, or my grandpa. i wonder if she was loved enough. i wonder if maybe in her dream she is a little girl running through the prarie fields fingers outstretched. i wonder if she ever wanted to go to my high shcool graduation. i wonder if she knew how much i loved her? i wonder if she'll be happy with who i marry? i wonder if maybe she is reason i love kids?
and every time i ask a question like that i start to cry this horrible tears licking my face all over...
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| i just want to be a homecoming queen..... |
[04 Sep 2008|12:26pm] |
eh eh. so news: work is great. my coworkers are all nice and awesome and i'm sure none of them actually hate me. hehehe
i did the baby class on tuesday though, which was HELL...so much crying....so much feeding....so much realizing that babies can't really move
grandma is dying...looked almost like a hollocaust victim when i last saw her. wanted to cry. she really isn't responding to much of anything right just staring idly...
NOW on to boy news:
dalton is avoiding me but did try and see if we "Were cool" when he was drunk and said he would explain things when he was sober...lame
I really don't think he would understand things about me at all. I mean I AM happy and surprisingly enjoying being semi-single, but I felt like things were right or at least normal when I was dating him and now it's all sooo blurry and confused.
i have been asked out or hypothetically asked out by four guys so far...all got an "erm no"
Stephen Chris(ex) Chris (becca's bf's brother who i am NOT going to date solely because his name is Chris) Grayson
and for a while I was slightly starting to like someone who i am sure is NEVER going to be ready for a relationship...
ackkk...also kind of seeing someone but it's not really serious. it's nice to just be with someone and not have to tell everyone else and not have to feel constantly uncared for because it ISNT a relationship so I can't let myself care about them too much. It's fun though and it makes me feel mysterious, even if Rabbit bitched at me about it...whatev whatev
school is...challenging...I feel like I just might die of sleep deprivation and overstudying. AP calc can stabb itself
random thought: hollister smells awesome! i want to roll around in their store and bathe in their clothes bins, preferably with mitchell and in front of the hot guys working there.
Also if you didn't notice :new goal for the year is Best Dressed. I WILL conquer. Every outfit WILL be coordinated!
and last but not least: HAVE A DATE TO HOMECOMING.... BOBBY!!!!! yay
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| i sent this to asshole and it is dedicated to my amazing larua! |
[19 Aug 2008|07:25pm] |
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I really think Laura deserves a fucking apology from you for you trying to guilt trip her last night or for you actually putting that pressure on her. Either way, by telling, or not telling, she was betraying someone's trust and hopes. She is my best friend and I don't know if you've ever had a friend like that, but when you do, you can't keep things from them when you know they are hurting or when you know the truth needs to be said. I don't know a single good friend who wouldn't have told a confidence like that to me, not because they are gossipy or liars, but because they have better and deeper morals than that. I am so grateful to have a friend like her to tell me that kind of thing and I think it was heroic and brave of her to do what you didn't want to do. She picked my ass off the highway last night just because she cared about me. She stayed up all night and actually listened to how I felt and gave a damn that I was crying...So don't you dare blame her for me being upset...or because you didn't get do things "right". You had your chance and honestly I really think it would have been worse off coming from someone like you who will never really care about my real feelings or will just put them "on hold" than from someone who would immediately drop anything just to make me smile. So maybe you were right and I did care about you more than you cared about me, but at least I have better friends that care about me even more; friends like Laura, who deserve more than to be made to feel like shit for being the amazing and honest friend that they are.
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| reflections on a reflecting night. |
[12 Jul 2008|04:17am] |
When I lie alone and breathe still I feel my blood churn with beat of the universe the stars melting into my fingertips and i wish my whole essence could be black oblivion or rough pavement that i could melt and disappear like transparent ice sinking into nothing and everything all at once
My flesh mixing ever so subtly into the summer smelling grass this moment is all so perfect and I, all so unnecessary and as I stare at the constant asphalt path laid out before me as it has not always been as it will not always be
I imagine myself like dripping paint on a canvas forever immortalized in these gray and navy hues bursting with hidden potential and promise the leaves never heard the pebbles never felt the winds never licked the fears never whispered\ the thoughts never screamed
What a burden lifted to not have to discover to not have to constantly decide how to choose the waning seconds to spend the wanton smiles to give
The earth grows beneath me and the clouds billow above Voices echo in the distance And me, I am motionless I am silent I am here barely here...
between the asphalt and the abyss and all the everythings and nothings in between
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| yay peace article |
[10 Jul 2008|12:12am] |
Peaceworkers battle rush-hour traffic Rachel Swetnam Claire Garden (left) and Virginia Bzdek regularly protest the war in Iraq at the intersection of Providence and Broadway. By Jenna Todoroff July 10, 2008 | 12:00 a.m. CST They come one by one to this common gathering place to spread their message. Many Columbians see them on a weekly basis, and the week of June 19 is no different. The blazing sun has no effect on these modern-day hippies as they gather to brave the traffic and spread a frequently heard message. Every Wednesday afternoon starting at 4:15, members of the Mid-Missouri Peaceworks gather at the corner of Broadway and Providence Road to take part in the Rush Hour Peace Demonstration. Nothing can shatter their pride as they stand with homemade banners and signs and ask passersby to honk and sound their opinions against the war in Iraq.
Mid-Missouri Peaceworks Mid-Missouri Peaceworks was formed in 1982 as a non-profit organization. Its goal is to work toward a more peaceful, just and sustainable world. For more information, call 875-0539 or visit midmopeaceworks.org.
As soon as the demonstration begins, horns blare throughout the busy intersection. Drivers idling at stoplights and motorcyclists speeding by shout words of support and encouragement or words of opposition and dissatisfaction. One even throws up the middle finger (or, as director Mark Haim likes to call it, the “half peace sign”). “This isn’t just an organization,” says Claire Garden, who keeps cool under her flowered visor. “This gives the community a voice to opposition so people don’t lose hope.” Although they have seen their share of wear and tear, the banners and signs still vibrantly decorate the street corners with phrases including “Pray For Peace” and “War No More” splashed across the white canvases. Dick Parker, 72, flashes the full peace sign to drivers at a standstill and gets a few honks in return. “The responses we get are by and large very positive,” Lily Tinker Fortel says. “I think it is important to have the visibility and that there are people here in our community who are concerned about the war.” Not only does the vigil capture the attention of drivers, but it also catches the eyes of walkers and bikers who marvel at this spectacle. “It is an interesting outreach factor,” says Colan Holmes, who was walking past the vigil. “It keeps (the war) at the top of people’s minds.” On the opposite side of the street, high school students Care Francis and Dalton Perry stand with their friends and fellow peaceworkers Travis Baka and Laura O’Dell. These self-professed hippies are voicing their opinions in an extremely visible way, even though only one of them, Francis, is old enough to vote. “If we can influence the younger crowd, then we can make a difference,” she says. After an hour and a half, the peaceworkers call it a day. They gather in a circle for a post-vigil meeting to discuss upcoming demonstrations and events. Signs of exhaustion spread across their faces, but they aren’t going to slow down anytime soon. These guys are in it for the long haul. The demonstrations started in 2001, and there are no plans to stop until the war is over.
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| my perfect day |
[10 Jul 2008|12:00am] |
okay so my coworker was being really friendly and nice today and i think we might just maybe be getting along:)! friends have been awesome lately and i looove spending time with all of them: laura, andrea, mitch mitch and his gang, ian!, trav trav also DANNNNN who i just got off the phone wiht in boston now onto other matters
[23:56] cuteandpunky: omg [23:56] cuteandpunky: i love dalton [23:56] cuteandpunky: he is amazin [23:56] arcanumamo: ? [23:57] cuteandpunky: so i was rather tiffed at him for not calling me back for a few days [23:57] cuteandpunky: but anyways [23:57] cuteandpunky: he calls me today three times [23:57] cuteandpunky: and leaves two messages [23:57] arcanumamo: Awwwwwwwwww [23:57] cuteandpunky: no no no thats not the best part [23:57] cuteandpunky: he calls me a third time and i pick up [23:57] cuteandpunky: and he says sorry and tells me to wear something nice [23:57] cuteandpunky: then he picks me up [23:58] cuteandpunky: and in his hand is a bag of presents [23:58] cuteandpunky: and some flowers [23:58] cuteandpunky: a late bday gift [23:58] cuteandpunky: and he bought me like four movies and three things of candy [23:58] cuteandpunky: and then he takes me out to dinner [23:58] arcanumamo: O.o! [23:58] cuteandpunky: and he pays and tells me to get whatever i want [23:58] cuteandpunky: we got cajun food [23:58] cuteandpunky: and then we went home and watched a move [23:59] cuteandpunky: *ie [23:59] cuteandpunky: and then kissed and stuff [23:59] cuteandpunky: and he told me he lvoed me [23:59] cuteandpunky: and carried me out to his car [23:59] cuteandpunky: and it was the best date ever [23:59] arcanumamo: <3
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| Electronic Fingers |
[05 Jul 2008|12:32pm] |
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Dalton likes me, nananabooboo. But fo realz last night it happened and he loves me FAHA.
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| little motel--modest mouse |
[03 Jul 2008|04:10pm] |
I hope that you like it in your little motel And I hope that the suite sleeps and suits you well Well I can see it as time and a sight through smell and Thats why its nice to be by yourself
Cause thats what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for, aren't I? That's what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for darlin'
We treat mishaps like sinking ships and I know that I don't want to be out to drift Well I can see it in your eyes like I taste your lips and They both tell me that we're better than this
Cause thats what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for, aren't I? That's what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for darlin'
We trade tit for tat like that for this And I don't think that there was an insult that was missed I can see it in your eyes like I taste your lips and I'm very sorry
Cause thats what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for, aren't I? That's what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for That's what I'm waiting for darlin'
It rained and its over a shooting star Landed directly on our broke down little car We fold and we had made a wish That we would be missed If one another just did not exist
Cause thats what we're waiting for That's what we're waiting for That's what we're waiting on, aren't we? That's what we're waiting for That's what we're waiting for That's what we're waiting for darlin'
That's what we're waiting for That's what we're waiting for That's what we're waiting for aren't we?
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| one hundred and fifty first |
[22 Jun 2008|06:18pm] |
one hundred and fifty
lines you can tell
secrets stroked on palms
in backseats or backyards
written rythms in poems
I thought you'd never read
or stupid symbols in
songs you said you'd never sing
and my head is swimming
in the number of nights
and sights in that number
the number of
hot tear drops
on my eyelashes
when I think of the complexities
in a single glance
no one has yet defined
the kind of stare you would scream at
that would make me scared
of the lack of soul in an eyelid
the black nothingness in between blinks
where heavy blood beats pale orbs
blank and impenitrable
and now I'm falling from the ground
into that diving night sky
drowning into dips in stars
hoping to dangle by a spider web between
the constellations and moon
greeting each of its one hundred and fifty faces
its phases you'll never greet again
as the world rotates beneath me
as the grass jumps
to the pulse of continuing life
of a continuing me
it's that same magnet that keeps me stuck
towards the ceiling
towards believing in the
one hundred and fifty first
the line I'll write myself and whisper softly
in sweet pillow voices
to the moon and me
the one hundred and fifty first line
you'll never tell
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[15 Jun 2008|03:11pm] |
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my new job is great as is my hottie bf and also the past few weekends have jsut been fucking party central. tent party then birthday sleepover at home then hotel party and now hotel party again. i got a tattoo on wednesday and it is fucking sweet. kayla got a piercing this weekend too! anyways all i can think about is drving around semi high with kayla drunk in the backseat and britney (kayla's friend driving) the roof on the car was down and the summer moon shone starch white against the dark black sky. it was perfect just feeling the wind rush onto your skin and singing corny rap songs at the top of your lungs. being 18 is fucking amazing.
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